The Case for Adding to Your Plate Instead of Cutting From It

Sep 28

If you spend time in hypermobility, MCAS, or perimenopause spaces, you've heard this advice before: cut gluten. Cut dairy. Cut nightshades. Cut histamine. Cut sugar. Cut whatever the latest post calls inflammatory. Each rule sounds fine on its own. Stack them all up, though, and there's almost nothing left on your plate. And now you're watching every bite, all day, on a body that's already working hard enough.

There's a better way in. It starts with adding, not cutting.

Why more rules tend to backfire here

If you're hypermobile — hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) and hypermobility spectrum disorder (HSD) are two common diagnoses — gut symptoms are often already part of your picture. So a lot of people show up to food already expecting trouble, not support. Add MCAS or histamine intolerance on top, and food can start to feel like a minefield instead of something that helps you. That's exactly the moment when one more restriction rule tends to make things worse, not better.

None of that means food doesn't matter. It means the default shouldn't be another rule.

What "crowding in" actually is

Crowding in means adding nutrient-dense, anti-inflammatory foods to what you already eat. You're not starting from a list of what to remove. This small shift makes a big difference in whether a habit actually sticks. Research on non-restrictive, "add more" approaches to eating — often studied under the label intuitive eating — has found real psychological gains: better self-esteem, better body image, fewer disordered-eating symptoms. Those gains tend to hold up over time, or even keep improving. Restrictive dieting tends to work faster at first, but those gains are more likely to fade. Restriction also asks more of you every time you eat. Addition asks less. That's the whole idea behind red carpet design, a habit-science principle: the easiest habit to keep is the one with the least friction. It's almost always easier to add a food than to police one away.

The anti-inflammatory plate

Here's what it looks like: once a day, build a plate that's about half vegetables, a quarter protein, and a quarter carbs plus a source of good fat. That's the whole rule. One plate, once a day, built by adding foods — not by crossing anything off.

But which foods, specifically? "Anti-inflammatory" isn't a vague wellness word here. It's defined by three of the most heavily studied eating patterns out there: Mediterranean, DASH, and MIND. All three share the same basic shape — vegetables and whole plant foods doing most of the work, olive oil over other fats, fish, poultry, or beans over red meat, whole grains over refined ones, and very little ultra-processed food. Where they differ is emphasis: Mediterranean is the broadest and most flexible of the three, DASH is built specifically around sodium and blood pressure, and MIND borrows from both but narrows in on a short list of foods tied to brain health.

Think back: what are some foods that fit into the anti-inflammatory bucket that you also genuinely enjoy eating? Lean into those; this shouldn't feel like a punishment.

Mediterranean, DASH, and MIND

Of the three, Mediterranean-style eating has the strongest, broadest body of long-term evidence. A 2020 European Menopause and Andropause Society position statement found that following it consistently during perimenopause and menopause was linked to lower blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar; a lower long-term risk of heart disease and cognitive decline; and, in a trial of people with existing depression, meaningfully better odds of remission. Its core foods: olive oil as the main fat, vegetables, legumes, and whole grains at most meals, fish and seafood a few times a week, poultry and eggs in moderation, red meat rarely, and dairy and wine in modest amounts if at all. This diet may even be helpful for hot flashes and bone density, although the evidence there is thinner.

MIND — a Mediterranean-DASH hybrid built specifically around brain health — is my personal pick, mostly because of what it's trying to do. It's built around 10 food groups to eat more of (green leafy vegetables, other vegetables, berries, nuts, beans, whole grains, seafood, poultry, olive oil, and up to one glass of wine daily if you drink) and 5 to eat less of (red meat, butter or margarine, cheese, pastries and sweets, and fried or fast food). The study that defined it found people who followed it most closely had a rate of cognitive decline that looked like being 7.5 years younger than people who followed it least. Worth knowing: a more recent, better-designed randomized trial didn't confirm that specific edge over a general healthy diet — but it's a reasonable, well-designed way to eat.

DASH is the one I'd call least essential of the three, though it's still a solid, well-supported option. It's been tested since the 1990s and reliably lowers blood pressure, body weight, and waist size. Its core rules: plenty of fruits and vegetables, whole grains instead of refined ones, low-fat dairy, lean protein like poultry, fish, beans, and nuts instead of red meat, and a real limit on sodium and added sugar.

One caveat if dysautonomia or POTS is part of your picture: DASH's sodium limit runs the opposite direction of standard POTS treatment. Clinical guidelines for POTS recommend increasing dietary salt to around 10 to 12 grams a day, paired with plenty of fluids, specifically to help expand blood volume. If that's you, talk to your provider before adopting DASH's sodium ceiling; it likely isn't the right target for you specifically.

Build the plate above consistently, and you're most of the way toward any of the three — pick whichever set of specifics fits your life best.

For MCAS or histamine intolerance specifically

If mast cell activity or histamine intolerance is part of your picture, crowding in still applies. A low-histamine diet can genuinely help some people. But a 2021 review of the evidence is direct about this: it "should be temporary and must not stress the patient" — not something you do forever by default. Build your plate around foods you already know you tolerate well. Don't build it entirely from a generic "anti-inflammatory foods" list that might include something that's a trigger for you personally. Your own tracking data is a better guide than any general list. If you suspect a specific food is a problem, test it carefully and for a limited time. Try not to cut out entire food groups indefinitely without a clear cause-and-effect relationship to feeling poorly.

Fiber deserves its own mention. It's an easy thing to crowd in, and it's a well-documented way to shift your gut bacteria in a good direction. A systematic review found that regular fiber intake reliably increased beneficial bacteria like Bifidobacterium. Vegetables, legumes, and whole grains are the simplest way to get there. Add fibrous foods without treating them as a replacement for the "bad foods" you're avoiding.

What this means practically

Pick one meal you already eat most days. That's your habit stack. Build that one meal around the plate structure, instead of trying to redesign everything at once. If lunch is the meal you have the most control over, start there. If dinner is more consistent for you, use that instead. The goal isn't a perfect anti-inflammatory diet. It's one plate, most days, built by adding — not subtracting.

A sample day, built on all three diet types

Breakfast: oatmeal or whole-grain toast, berries, a handful of walnuts, and a piece of fruit.

Lunch: a big leafy-green salad with beans or lentils, a piece of fish or poultry, and an olive oil dressing.

Dinner: your anti-inflammatory plate — half non-starchy vegetables, a quarter fish, poultry, or plant protein, a quarter whole grain, olive oil as the fat.

Snack, if you want one: nuts, fruit, or plain yogurt.

This isn't a rigid menu. It's just one way to see all three diets overlap on an actual plate, on a day when you have the capacity for it.

Where this eventually goes

This habit has a long-term version worth naming, even though it's not where you start. Eventually, the goal is for this plate to stop being just one deliberate meal a day or a week, but rather to grow toward most of your meals — a full plate practice, most of the time, without much thought at all. That's not a week-one expectation. It's what this looks like after months of practice, once it's gotten boring in the good way: automatic enough that you've stopped negotiating with yourself over it.

None of this replaces working with a dietitian if you have a diagnosed food allergy, confirmed MCAS or histamine triggers, or a GI condition that needs individual management. And one more thing worth saying plainly: if you have a chronic condition like kidney disease — or anything else where sodium, potassium, protein, or fluid intake needs careful management — these general patterns may not apply to you as written. Check with your provider before changing how you eat. This is a starting structure, not a substitute for that kind of care.

The bigger picture

The BENDY Method is a 12-week habit-based course for perimenopause and menopause in bodies with hEDS, HSD, MCAS, POTS, dysautonomia, and related presentations. Join the waitlist to be first to know when enrollment opens.

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